Five Wide: 2024 Week Four

By Thomas Willoughby

Let me tell you about my Sunday. Good Lord it was an ordeal. So I knew I’d be missing a chunk of the Falcons game. Was at United/Spurs and the signal around Old Trafford after a game is JOKE. Get on the coach to head home, load up Game Pass, and it’s not working.

“Fine” I think to myself, “It’s a signal issue”. Except it’s not a signal issue. Around me I can hear people streaming Gary Neville delivering a post-match damnation of United’s efforts. So I try again, and nothing. Then I try Sky Go, and Redzone is clear as anything.

Turns out, in it’s latest update, DAZN added a betting section, which is being picked up by the adult content blocker I did not know VOXI put on my account. Nightmare! So I switched that off, took about 10 minutes to update, and I’m finally in for a bit of Falcons football! Not just yet, young man, here’s the half time report. Ugh!

Got there in the end, though, and that’s the main thing. Not even a heavily delayed coach trip home could deny me the satisfaction of watching the Falcons beat the Saints.

Anyway, here’s what you came for.

God save the King

I’m using one of this weeks segments to hype up the best player in the NFL today. Long time readers and Five Wide lore-knowers will be asking what Cordarrelle Patterson did this week to justify a shout out. Sadly, he lost the tag of best player in the NFL when he left the Atlanta Falcons. The current best player in the NFL, coincidentally, also plays for the Atlanta Falcons, would you believe. Unreal consistency for a team that hasn’t had a winning season for like 8 years. Anyway, all hail King Koo.

Koo received his coronation against all the odds. In the latest edition of the greatest rivalry in the NFL, Falcons vs Saints, the New Orleans battled back to take a 24-23 lead with a minute on the clock. For the 3rd time in as many weeks, the Falcons would get the ball back, with the opportunity to win the game at the death. And boy did they drive. 1 completed pass, 5 yards, one big PI call and the Falcons are into the Saints half. Koo’s longest successful field goal is 54 yards. If the Falcons can just gain another 8 yards, they’ll be well within range for a winner. So, they did what any good team does.

They took 3 successive shots at the end zone. All of which failed. Up steps Younghoe, being asked to hit his longest-ever field goal. 58 yards. To keep the feeling of the Falcons season alive.

And he nails it. The longest successful field goal in the history of the Mercedes Benz Stadium. He lifts his arms above his head ala Jude Bellingham. I’m shaking my fist at my tablet, because I can’t be celebrating on a coach. This is what it’s all about. I dub thee King Koo the First. A game winner, despite the team he plays for. As is tradition. Congratulations, my liege. Someone get this man a throne.

Jokesonville Jaguars

The Jacksonville Jaguars are miserable. Absolutely miserable. They’ve started the season 0-4, they’ve not looked good at all. The cries for change are getting louder, the seat under Doug Pederson’s behind has got to be flaming at this point. They’ve not won a competitive game since January 7th. They’re horrendous.

In their defence, they’ve played some good teams. It’s also worth pointing out, they’ve played 3 of their 4 games on the road. However. They should have beaten Miami. They should have beaten Cleveland. At no point in their previous two games, however, did I think they’d beat Buffalo or Houston. And that appears to have been the straw that broke the camels back in Jacksonville.

I seem to recall them being in a similar, albeit not exactly the same, spot last season. A slow start, question marks about the coach and the performances of his key players. They took 2 weeks in London and came home rejuvenated. They don’t get to play over here for another fortnight. They host the Colts on Sunday, in a game they simply must win. If they don’t, the UK might well see the same team coached by two different people in two different weeks.

Only one side has started the season 0-4 and made the playoffs. That, at the very least, is something for them to aspire to.

Patient Patriots

Speaking of miserable, Sunday night was not a fun time for the New England Patriots. They rode into Santa Clara and got thoroughly beaten down by the San Francisco 49ers. 30-13, 1-3 start, things aren’t looking great for the Patriots right now.

However.

I want to commend them for not caving. They’re terrible, don’t get me wrong. But they’re terrible with a young QB on their roster. Drake Maye may have been the 3rd overall pick, but the Patriots aren’t, and shouldn’t be, in a rush to parachute him into the starting gig. This is a bad team right now, and they know it. If they believe they have the future of their franchise, why risk destroying him before he’s got a fair chance. The rookie’s better on the bench than on his back.

Their greatest ever player has been vocal about how younger QBs need time to learn how to play the game. There’s something to that. See Carolina. See the history of the New York Jets. The Patriots can and should keep Maye off the field for as long as they can. And when he’s leading them to their 7th Super Bowl in 3 or 4 years time, they should erect a statue of Jacoby Brissett for sacrificing his body to allow Maye that time.

Enough's enough

I think we need to ban the New York Jets from drafting quarterbacks. We, as a collective, have allowed them gaslight us into writing off QB prospects for too long. I’m currently watching the Minnesota Vikings play some of the best ball they’ve played in years with their 2018 3rd overall pick. The Seahawks’ post-Wilson era has been a smooth experience thanks to the play of the Jets’ 2013 2nd round pick. Enough is enough.

I’m starting to think Mark Sanchez might have been a hall of famer had it not been for the jersey on his back. I’m also wondering whether the position itself might be cursed for them. The Aaron Rodger’s experiment took a major hit within minutes of it starting in early 2023. He’s certainly playing like a 40 year old man coming off a major achilles injury.

I can’t wrap my head around this Darnold renaissance, though. Is the 49ers program so rehabilitating that anyone can sit behind Purdy and become the man? Either way, the Vikings have replaced their long-term starter with a BUST. 11 TDs and 932 passing yards over 4 games, (all wins, might I add) is just wonderful to see. I’m pleased for him. I hope his season doesn’t derail like it did with the Panthers the other year.

For the Jets, the litmus test will be Zach Wilson. Wilson is currently the Broncos’ 3rd choice QB. When he ends up taking the Panthers to the promised land in 2027, we’re shutting the Jets down permanently.

Nickname Nit Picking

Ending this week with a question, and I genuinely would like it answered; is Quentin Johnston good, now? I’d admit to being somewhat out of the loop with the Los Angeles Chargers this season, but I caught the end of Redzone when I finally got in, and heard Jim Nantz called him “Q Money” after making a catch. You don’t get called “Q Money” if you’re not good, right?

So I had a look. His numbers this season aren’t super impressive, though I do know the Chargers have had some injury issues with Herbert the past few weeks. But he’s caught the ball 11 times in 4 games. That doesn’t seem “Q Money” worthy, surely?

If I’m out of line please do no hesitate to tell me. I loved what I saw from him heading into last years draft, so would like to be proven right yet again. I just think “Q Money” is a little soon, y’know?

Features Image Credit: Troy Taormina-Imagn Images

THOMAS IS A WRITER, AND REGULAR GUEST ON THE TOUCHDOWN REVIEW SHOW PODCAST, FOR THE TOUCHDOWN. YOU CAN FIND HIM @WILLO290592 ON TWITTER

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