Wardy's NFL Wordy: Week 5 Preview

By Rob Ward

Another wild week in the NFL. Referees are being suspended for yelling “fuck you” at tight ends. Ben Johnson is demonstrating his gameplan for the Packers by crushing a can of coke with his bare hand. Full fat coke, none of that wussy coke zero. Ben is a real man. And to top it all off, Stephen A. Smith is belittling Lane Johnson’s mental health struggles live on air, before going on to gaslight his viewers by assuring them they didn’t see or hear what they saw and heard.

Surveying the wreckage of the first four weeks, I’m reminded of an old idiom. Coaches need a 4-week sample size, an almost-quarter season’s worth of evidence, to gather sufficient data to work teams out. I’m not sure the source of this idiom, but it must have been someone smart.

With this in mind, let’s preview Week 5 by assessing what we know through 4 weeks. Don’t except me to dabble in the data. Expect only Stephen A hot takes with possible gaslighting if you dare question me.

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES @ JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS (Though actually @ London)

It’s the second game of the 2026 London Series and, whisper it quietly, we finally have an intriguing game. Fresh from being force-fed our annual trash in Week 4, having seen Brazil treated to Cowboys v Ravens and Australia get 9ers v Rams, this one has the potential to be decent. Or at least it did, and then the Eagles lost their star O Lineman to retirement and decided the best remedy was to trade away another one. The take on the Eagles is drastically different to what it was 4 weeks ago, and this feels like a team in rebuild. The Jags may well be the best in the AFC, playing great on both sides of the ball, to the extent I got into a debate with The Touchdown doyen Simon Carroll as to whether we can now call T-Law and L-Coe elite. Exciting times for those who watch their football in a pool.

NEW YORK GIANTS @ WASHINGTON COMMANDERS

The Giants season looked like it was on the scrapheap after losing QB Jaxson Dart and star linebacker Brian Burns in back-to-back weeks. But they are 3-1 with a great chance to go 2 games clear of their nearest divisional rivals this weekend. John Harbaugh, as expected, has brought belief and fortified the mentality. Jameis Winston brings the LOLs and an occasional “piss whistle” (to quote Tom Brady) to Malik Nabers. The schedule has brought some doozies. It’s probably unfair to make major assessments on Washington when they’re playing the Greekiest hero since Odysseus at QB. One thing we do know, they can’t stop anyone on defense and even if Jayden Daniels brings 2024 vibes, it’s shootout city each week.

CLEVELAND BROWNS @ NEW YORK JETS

In a week where President Trump decided to throw his considerable weight into an ongoing ketamine gang rape trial (“what’s a guy gotta do to have sex these days?”) it feels right that DeShaun Watson’s Browns are making headlines. They appear to have nailed the draft. With Denzel Boston and KC Concepcion looking like their future wide receiver duo, Spencer Fano and Austin Barber have replenished the O Line. 2nd round safety Emmanuel McNeil-Warren was lively against the Steelers in Week 4. The Jets have reasons to be cheerful themselves, with a first interception since the Bronze Age coming in Week 4. The defense has looked better, much to Aaron Glen’s relief, and Geno is moving the offense. They need to start finishing the job (or not, if a QB in 2027 is the ultimate goal).

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS @ PITTSBURGH STEELERS

God this one should be ugly. The Colts are doing what they seem do every season under Shane Steicken. Make no headlines, do nothing of consequence, lose to good teams, beat bad teams, and appear somewhere around 8-9 or 9-8 by the end of the year. Apologies Colts fans, I am churlishly overlooking the continued brilliance of running back Jonathan Taylor. Pittsburgh 4 games in are equally predictable. It’s the Aaron Rodgers off-field show. What he says or doesn’t say, who he does or doesn’t throw under a bus, how he edges Pat McAfee live on television. Somewhat appropriate in a week when Cristiano Ronaldo flounced out of Portugal’s training camp. What we need now is for this 43-year-old has-been blowhard to follow in the footsteps of the tanned, octopus-munching Piers Morgan sex doll, and we might be able to give the Steelers a proper examination. Oh, Roman Wilson looks decent.

HOUSTON TEXANS @ TENNESSEE TITANS

We knew one of these teams was going to be 0-4 at this stage. We are shocked that the other is also winless. Startlingly, the Titans look even worse than advertised pre-season, with Cam Ward likely going the same way as predecessor Will Levis, only without the whole dipping unskinned bananas in mayonnaise caper. As for the Texans, is it weird to say they’ve looked decent and been unlucky? They faced Allen, Burrow and Dak. The defeat to the Colts is the truly unforgivable loss in there and probably costs the Texans the playoffs. The supposedly useless C.J. Stroud has looked better than the supposedly elite defense. A lot can change in 4 games.

MINNESOTA VIKINGS @ NEW ORLEANS SAINTS

The Saints have surely the most disheartening and disappointing character arc over the first 4 acts of the season. The promise of Week 1’s loss in Detroit was fulfilled in Week 2’s win in Baltimore, before they snatched defeat from the jaws of Week 3’s victory against the Raiders and endured a long night of the soul in Week 4’s MNF hammering on Steve Gleason night in the Superdome. Suddenly, the outlook for these Saints is much gloomier. The Vikings are the NFL’s Tale of Two Teams. The defense is perhaps the best in the league; the offense is one of the worst. How long can an offensive game plan consisting of Kyler Murray chucking 5-10 yard passes to T.J. Hockenson 15 times an afternoon remain viable?

LAS VEGAS RAIDERS @ NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

I predicted the Patriots would miss the playoffs, and I was feeling even better about myself than usual before Week 4. Then they beat the Bills and Drake Maye looked great again. The defense is still good. It feels like we can’t truly analyse this offense until we get A.J. Brown in there. Is Trey’veon Henderson ever gonna turn into a proper running back, or is he just gonna break off one 60-yard TD run a year? I’ve loved watching the Raiders this season. It’s the confluence of everything I love. An iconic franchise, an underdog story, a gnarly defense outperforming expectations and Kirk Cousins. Maxx Crosby may have feared his dreams of playoff football were over when the Ravens U-Turned on his signing; dream on, Maxx, dream on!

CINCINNATI BENGALS @ MIAMI DOLPHINS

The Dolphins look four games in like they did four games out. Crap. Well, that’s a little unfair. There’s been a few sparks on defense, namely Zach Sieler’s pass rush and rookie Jacob Rodriguez, currently second in the league in tackles. But they are doing the right thing. Stay exactly where you are Fins and go get that quarterback. The Bengals have their quarterback. We thought they had their defense too. Then they lost in back-to-back weeks to the Steelers and the Jaguars, shipping 52 points in total. Last week, as predicted in these pages, there was a bit of beef between Burrow and head coach Zach Taylor. We’re on hold with Cincinnati. They’ll win this week and should still make the playoffs in a limp conference. But something doesn’t quite seem right.

CHICAGO BEARS @ GREEN BAY PACKERS

I know Ben Johnson’s coke can crushing antics probably play well to the warm blooded but freezing cold bodied Chicagoans, I couldn’t help find the entire spectacle cringe-on-toast. But maybe that’s just a question of taste. There’s no doubt Jonno is proving it on the field, with back-to-back wins sans their franchise QB. Most notably for this team, Dennis Allen’s defense is showing its teeth. Restricting teams to 9, 7 and 12 points in the last 3. If they keep that up and Caleb Williams returns, the sky really is the limit. The Packers are 2-2, which is credit to the winning know-how of the coach and QB, but with one of the worst offensive lines in the league, they’ll have to grind out more unconvincing victories like Week 2 against the Jets and Week 4 in Tampa. This week vs. their oldest rival may be a good place to change that narrative.

DENVER BRONCOS @ LOS ANGELES CHARGERS

And so it happened. It only took 4 weeks of watching his offense under Davis Webb for Sean Payton to say “I’ll take it from here”. The pouty one has his enormous, laminated sheet once again. The Broncos have been a tough watch on offense through the first half-to-three quarters of every game this year, relying on some late razzle dazzle to take them to two wins. Bar a bit of George Kittle magic in Week 4, they may well have repeated that trick in San Francisco. But isn’t that what the Broncos were for much of last season, when Payton was calling plays? As for the Chargers, is there much left to say? There has been no fall from grace more devastating and emphatic than what Los Angeles has endured through 4 weeks. It has left question marks over players and coaches we previously held in fairly high regard, to the extent they may all be gone going into 2027. Harbaugh and McDaniel to the chop, Justin Herbert to Madison Beer’s world

DETROIT LIONS @ ARIZONA CARDINALS

Arizona has been frisky. Winning in LA in Week 1, running the 9ers and Giants close in Weeks 2 and 4. Again, they’re doing the right thing. Losing close games. Alarmingly, Marvin Harrison Jr. has basically become the Efton Chishm of his team, just not as fun. A remarkable push to the fringes for one of the hottest wide receiver prospects of all time (full disclosure – I don’t watch college football; I just read Draft Nick and all his very confident friends). Detroit is feeling like the team whose Super Bowl window just shut and they’re looking around for someone to blame. Defensive coordinator Kelvin Shepard, who was covered by the excuse of injuries last year, looks a perfect target. It’s sad, the Lions have earned a lot of good will, and the offense is still cooking. But their Super Bowl goose might be cooked.

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS @ SEATTLE SEAHAWKS

Now we’re talking! Proper game this. The Seahawks defense hasn’t dropped off through 4 weeks. The offense was able to withstand an injury to Sam Darnold over the first two weeks but are having more trouble in overcoming the departure of Kenneth Walker to free agency. Rookie Jadarian Price has been missing blocks, which will famously get you benched, and are currently relying on a Steptoe and Son combination of Emanuel Wilson and George Holani. Joe Mixon had a cup of coffee in Seattle this week, but nothing came of that. Still, if you’re gonna have a cup of coffee anywhere, that seems a fair place to choose. The 49ers are doing what they did for most of last season, absorbing injuries, rolling with the punches and winning football games. Brock Purdy is playing like an MVP, though I’m reserving judgment on this until we see him in Week 5 against a coach that has his number. Outperforming expectations, it looks like the Red and Gold Dad’s Army may have one last stand.

BALTIMORE RAVENS @ ATLANTA FALCONS

Sneaky great game alert. No team has turned the tables through four weeks more than the Atlanta Lol-cons. We always knew Bijan Robinson was good, but he was usually tucked away on redzone at 6pm, only appearing before our eyes when crossing into the paint. But he has well and truly burst out on the national stage in back-to-back island games, spearheading an offense that has put up 40+ two games straight. Who knew Michael Penix was so valuable? The other thing that impressed me in Week 4 was, finally, an Atlanta pass rush that put Tyler Shough under pressure all night. Baltimore have been Baltimore. They run the ball well, Derrick Henry is big and scary and scores touchdowns, and they are tough on defense. But the emergence of Zay Flowers, despite injury, as a potential top 5 receiver in the NFL is the story of their season. We (or people smarter than me) have said for seasons, give Lamar one of those guys and that might be the final piece. Well, Lamar now has one of those guys…  

BUFFALO BILLS @ LOS ANGELES RAMS

The Bills looks immense on offense and terrible on defense. Josh Allen is unstoppable, frequently playing Superman, until, suddenly, he cocks up and the Bills lose. For 2026, read 2025, 2024, 2023, 2022. Through 4 games, the Bills are the Bills are the Bills and no number of 400+ yards and 5 total touchdown games for their quarterback will convince me otherwise. They looked untouchable Weeks 1 and 2, then lost to the Patriots in Week 4 after doing their best to gift the Chargers a win in Week 3. The Rams threw Week 1 and the officials cost them in Week 3. They beat a Giants team who had just lost their starting QB in Week 2 and an Eagles team who just lost their starting everyone in Week 4. I have no idea what to make of them, other than to say Matthew Stafford is underperforming and the defense needs to step up. Monday Night Football would be a great place to start.

ROB WARD

NFL/Fantasy Football Enthusiast

ROB IS A LOVER OF ALL THINGS 49ERS AND HOST OF THE COLLAPSING POCKET PODCAST IN WHICH HE, SIMON CARROLL AND SAM AKROYD BUTT-FUMBLE THEIR WAY THROUGH THE WORLD OF THE NFL. AWAY FROM SPORT, ROB IS A PROFESSIONAL WRITER AND PERFORMER. HIT HIM UP ON TWITTER @TDWARDY!

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