Five Wide: 2026 Week One
By Thomas Willoughby
Welcome back, class. I trust you all enjoyed your off season as much as I did. I saw My Chemical Romance twice in two days, and the further away from it that I get, the more I realise that it was probably the best weekend of my life. Just amazing.
It had to come to an end, though. It certainly felt like the summer had ended this past weekend, as I attempted to get Gamepass working on my tablet on a coach away from Old Trafford so I could watch the Falcons ruin my life on the worlds hardest seat. God I’ve missed that.
And I know you missed your weekly dose of NFL related silliness. Of course we were going to bring it back this year, don’t even fret. It’s gonna be so good this year, too, trust me. So here we are again. Without further ado, YOUR 2026 Five Wide.
San Francisco P45ers
Long time readers of this thing will know how much I love to highlight nonsense history. We’ve only just finished the first week of this year’s season, and we’ve already seen the San Francisco 49ers write themselves into the books, as they became the first team ever to win an NFL game in Australia. Well done all involved.
You know that already, though. What you might not know is that, despite having made a 16 hour flight from Santa Clara to Melbourne, the team simply could not stop their roster construction. Part of that means adding and dropping players. With that in mind, congratulations to Brayden Willis: the first player to ever be cut in Australia!
Imagine going on a work trip, and getting told you’re losing your job while on that trip. In another continent, no less. Harsh? Yes, extremely! It might make all the sense in the world to add a long snapper or whatever they did. That’s a very important position. But come on lads. Have a heart.
Willis landed on his feet, however. And by that, I mean he was signed to their practice squad. Presumably because no other teams were awake to contact him while he was over there. Hope he gets minutes this season.
My Name Is Jonas
Speaking of Australia: not to be deterred by a Christmas movie described by my sister as “the worst thing I have ever seen”, the NFL swung big at giving Melbourne a big name half time act. Step aside Rizzle Kicks, here comes The Jonas Brothers! That’s right, America’s favourite Disney-backed devout Christian brothers are back, and they’re more divorced than ever.
Now, listen. I’m a 34 year old man. When the Jo Bros were big, I was about 17 years old and listening to real music. I’ve grown to respect their sound to a degree. Joe Jonas, famously, set up DNCE, who were genuinely good and I recommend them highly. Team Jonas is where they make their money, however, and this was a great opportunity to get their name back out there.
And didn’t they deliver! A medley of Burnin’ Up, Sucker, one I’ve never heard before, and You’re The Voice by Chris Thompson, for some reason. To round us out, their cover of Year 3000. A delight for the senses. The Jonas Brothers have set a decent bar that the rest of the international games’ stable of half time show talent will do well to hit. And we’ll be there every step of the way to judge.
Mock Drafts after Week One
A moment of silence, please, for the Miami Dolphin in your life. After a few years of threatening to be something serious, the Dolphins are back where they feel most at home. The absolute bottom. I’m gonna call it right now: this is the team that nabs the first overall pick in 2027. That roster STINKS.
Miami were thoroughly outplayed by Kirk Cousins’ Las Vegas Raiders on Sunday night, handing their opposition a 27-13 victory, and barely making them work for it. Even the defense, which picked off Kirko Chainz twice, were powerless to stop him and his decidedly middling supporting cast. Which was effectively just Ashton Jeanty. He was everywhere.
On offense, this Dolphins team might as well just be De’Von Achane. Malik Willis, as nice a prospect as he might be, is working with next to nothing through the air. He managed to put together 220 yards through the air, and found the end zone with his legs, but the passing game was basically a non-factor. He would kill for the “middling” cast around Cousins right now. The talent pool in Miami is borderline practice squad.
It’s clear to see why. The Dolphins have nearly $183mil tied up in contracts for players that do not play there anymore. Tua Tagovailoa (Falcons) is taking up $55.4mil this year and $43.8mil next year. Tyreek Hill (free agent) counts for $28.2mil. Jaylen Waddle (Broncos) $23.2mil. Jalen Ramsey (Steelers) $20.8mil). The list goes on! This is clearly a lost year for the Dolphins as they try to shake off the big contracts of years past. I would recommend to any Dolphins fans reading to opt for RedZone for your NFL viewing of choice this season.
Scoring for fun
An early congratulations to both the Chicago Bears and the Carolina Panthers, who played out what will surely be the highest scoring game of 2026. A, frankly stupid, 37-59 final score that cemented the Bears as this seasons team to watch for offensive juggarnautism. Not a word.
Madden NFL 27‘s cover star, Caleb Williams, looked every bit the top tier prospect his 1st overall status afforded him only 3 seasons ago. 21/29 and two passing touchdowns, with another 65 yards rushing yards, and two rushing touchdowns, tacked on. Just try to stop him. D’Andre Swift managed 124 yards rushing, and added 3 touchdowns of his own, leaving fantasy owners-who-left-him-on-their-bench everywhere cursing his name. It’s me!
The Panthers played their part, but there really isn’t a way to positively dress up conceding 59 points in way that isn’t condescending. Well done to Bryce Young, I suppose, for throwing the ball a lot? We’ll find out next week whether the driver of this scoreline was a very bad Panthers defense (who face a Falcons team down to their 3rd QB having scored just 13 points in week 1), or a very good Bears offense (who face a Vikings defense that completed shut down Jordan Love’s Packers in the 2nd half on Sunday). Much to ponder.
Kitwatch 2026: Part I
That’s right, we’re gonna do this every week this season. I love it, you love it, we all love it. Kitwatch is a permanent fixture of Five Wide from now on. And what a week to ring in this new era, by the way.
All five sides that opted to refresh their threads this off-season debuted a new look each. I penned my thoughts over the summer when they were unveiled, but I quite like them all! Slightly disappointed by the Falcons going all white, rather than white jerseys with black pants (like the Ravens did), but all five should be pleased with their efforts.
Elsewhere, the Bengals went for a block orange jersey, over their more recognisable black with orange details. But, given it’s the tail end of summer, and they’ll go back to normal next time they host, I think I’ll allow it. There’s something quite sunny about that look, for me.
The Houston Texans opted for an all-white ensemble at home vs the Buffalo Bills, which looked very striking. Now, the cynic in me can’t help but wonder if they took some inspiration from their cross-state Dallas based neighbours, who basically trademarked the colour white, but it’s nice. Like the Bengals, I expect they’ll go back to normal next time they’re at home. But it’s good. I liked it.
And shout out to the Vikings, who opened this season with a retro look. I love their older jersey design, and having it played out against a team who basically hasn’t changed its look since it was born was a stroke of genius. Whack a CRT filter over this game, and it could have passed for a fixture straight out of the ’70s. And respect to the Vikings’ defence for playing that way, too. The Purple People Eaters were reborn in the 4th quarter.
Featured Image Credit: Scott Kinser – AP Photo
Thomas Willoughby
NFL ANALYST
THOMAS IS A WRITER, AND REGULAR GUEST ON THE TOUCHDOWN REVIEW SHOW PODCAST, FOR THE TOUCHDOWN. YOU CAN FIND HIM @WILLO290592 ON TWITTER
