Buffalo Fit The Bill in La La Land
By Rob Ward
In a new weekly series, your old mate Wardy stays up late to break down all the drama of Thursday Night Football. And there was plenty of it as The Los Angeles Rams and Buffalo Bills kicked off the 2022 NFL season…
Between rising energy bills, Lizzie shuffling off her mortal coil and the appointment of the bastard love child of Jon Gruden and an Alpaca as the new Prime Minister, there aren’t many reasons to be cheerful in the UK right now. Lucky, then, that we all follow the NFL and could gather around our television sets/laptops/iPads with beer and Dominoes at 1am this morning for the 2022 curtain jerker.
The post summer ‘back to school’ blues give way to the anticipation of a new season. This starter was particularly tasty. Many people (and I include myself in this count) have pencilled the Rams and Bills to not only open but close the season, at Super Bowl 57 in Arizona.
You couldn’t find two more geographically, ideologically and culturally opposed places than Los Angeles and Buffalo. LA, the land of Hollywood and Beverly Hills. Buffalo, the land of chicken wings. The glamour of the West Coast vs the blue collar Western New Yorkers, at their happiest when body slamming each other through tables in the December snow. This Tale Of Two Cities manifests itself also in the juxtaposition of their respective head coaches: A Tale of Two Sean Macs. McVay, the super-hot high school jock with the model wife, bouncing up and down the side line, whispering seductive magic into his laminated play sheet. McDermott, the former amateur wrestler who looks like he stumbled out of a Salford boozer, waddling with a grappler’s gait reminiscent of Mark Ruffalo in Foxcatcher.
If that was an overrated movie (complete with Steve Carrell’s “if I play a weirdo they’ll give me an Oscar” turn) then McDermott’s Bills team proved Thursday night that they are by no means an overrated team. The offseason darlings backed up the hype with this dominant downing of the reigning champs in Inglewood. Simply put, the Bills were better than the Rams on all three phases and it wasn’t particularly close. Much has been made of Brian Daboll’s departure and many questions asked of Ken Dorsey as his replacement at offensive coordinator. On the opening drive, Dorsey alternated between short pass and running play, marching down the field, before Josh Allen found Gabe Davis wide open for an easy-as-you like score. Fantasyheads everywhere ejaculated. Davis WAS worth that fifth round pick after all.
The Bills chucked in three first half turnovers to keep it mildly competitive. There were two picks of baby-faced bouncer Josh Allen and a fumble by James Cook on his first NFL carry. Like his namesake upon discovering the Hawaiian islands, Cook wasn’t to be seen again. The Rams halftime parity was ill deserved. Their full-time dismantling wasn’t. By the end of the night Allen had gone 26 of 31 for 297 passing yards, 3 passing TDs and a 112.0 passer rating. He threw short and he went long. All three of his receivers found the endzone. He added 47 yards and 1 TD on the ground, leaping over Bobby Wagner in a display of physical might that has become his trademark.. All aboard Allen’s MVP bandwagon.
It wouldn’t be fair if the Bills have a juggernaut offense AND the league’s best defense, but if TNF is anything to go by, that may well be the case. Their seven sacks with four or fewer pass rushers is tied for the 4th most in an NFL game since 2016. Jordan Phillips and former Ram Von Miller led the way. It’s scary to think this unit will only improve when Tre’Davious White returns from injury.
Josh Allen is that dude. pic.twitter.com/DS63sjBLPX
— Ari Meirov (@MySportsUpdate) September 9, 2022
The retirement of Andrew Whitworth has left a quite literal gaping hole on the Rams O-Line and replacement Joe Noteboom notably didn’t boom. In a division where they face a ferocious 49ers pass rush; Los Angeles needs to fix this line and fast. The offensive problems didn’t stop there. Cooper Kupp got his TD and staple 100+ yard game, but Allen Robinson finished on 1 catch for 12 yards. If he was brought in to play the Robert Woods/Odell Beckham second receiver role of last season, there needs to be an improvement in his usage and performance. It was easy to give Robinson a pass last year in the sinking Matt Nagy ship in Chicago, rather than assume he was on the decline. The scrutiny will be greater this year. The mystery of Matthew Stafford’s injured elbow overshadowed his offseason and performances like this won’t help to calm nerves.
We shouldn’t overreact to one week. Chris Collingsworth and his white teeth noted “it’s week one and everyone is exhausted” as the transition from training camp to real football caught up with some. This may also explain the sloppy error prone start to the match. But when you’re defending Super Bowl champs every loss will be put under the microscope. Not that you needed a microscope to deduct what happened here, they simply got their backsides handed to them. Call me a purveyor of schadenfreude if you like, but I always enjoy seeing Jalen Ramsey made to look a tit. The Rams’ star corner made a point of “not boosting nobody up” in his presser earlier this week. The stat line when his old rival Allen targeted him – six catches for 124 yards and 2 TDs – would suggest otherwise.
Opening night thumpings of the defending champs in their own building aren’t always instructive. Whilst Peyton Manning’s 7 TD performance in Baltimore in 2013 was the precursor for the Broncos run to the Super Bowl, the Chiefs 2017 season ended with a playoff loss to Marcus Mariota’s Titans following their 42-27 hammering of the Patriots on the first Thursday. A lot will happen between now and any potential rematch in the desert in February. One thing is for sure. For these two NFL heavyweights, it truly was the best of times and the worst of times.
Fantasy Fallout
One game in and its proper shit-yerself panic stations time for Cam Akers owners. Akers was given 3 carries in the game and when he sidestepped the onrushing Jordan Phillips, allowing his quarterback to get smashed, his night was over. Henderson looked the better back; something that many observers of the Rams have long insisted. Give A-Rob another week, but if the O Line isn’t fixed don’t expect Stafford to be looking much further than Kupp for the rest of the year.
All systems go for the Bills receivers (including Isiah McKenzie as a PPR flex). Devin Singledigits used his 8 carries well at 6 YPC, but the training camp whispers about the return of Zach Moss from the wilderness proved true. Moss carried 6 times himself to limited success, but his eye-watering 6 receptions was second only to Diggs. It feels like more of the same, to which we should draw the same conclusions. Avoid this backfield if you can.
ROB WARD
NFL/Fantasy Football Enthusiast
ROB IS A LOVER OF ALL THINGS 49ERS AND HOST OF THE COLLAPSING POCKET PODCAST IN WHICH HE, SIMON CARROLL AND SAM AKROYD BUTT-FUMBLE THEIR WAY THROUGH THE WORLD OF THE NFL. AWAY FROM SPORT, ROB IS A PROFESSIONAL WRITER AND PERFORMER. HIT HIM UP ON TWITTER @ROBWARDRW!