Wardy's NFL Wordy - Season Preview, Part 1: The AFC

By Rob Ward

The year is 2026 and everywhere you look, on every available social media or streaming platform, young, white dudes with big, bold opinions are having the time of their lives. Now I’m 40 next year, so the jury is out on whether I can still claim young. But I’m definitely a white dude and I certainly have opinions.

So, in this age of post-post-adolescent rage, to hell with decency and nuance, I’m ready to fill my cup. I’ll be here every week, with my tongue only slightly in my cheek, to offer my unwanted opinions on every game on the NFL slate. This weekend, I’ll start with a very not-so-special season preview for every team.

Move over Skip Bayliss, there’s a new rent-a-gob in town.

AFC North

BALTIMORE RAVENS

Some franchises just know what they’re doing, don’t they? They close the curtains on incompetence and repel the rot. They are annoyingly good at being good. Whether it was the transition from Joe Flacco to Lamar Jackson, from Ozzie Newsome to Eric DeCosta and now, seemingly, from John Harbaugh to Jessie Minter; the best defensive coordinator of last year in a league that has swung back to that side of the ball. Baltimore are THEM (that’s an expression I picked up from clever people on twitter). I promise you I don’t say any of this with envy as an Everton fan. Insert Pinocchio nose emoji.

CINCINNATI BENGALS

Joe Burrow is sexy, he’s cool, he’s a fashion icon, he plays the piano (he’s sensitive!), he buys Batmobiles (he’s quirky!)… but can he please stop pontificating about his future and show the fans a bit of respect? I’m all for sportspeople with depth, but perhaps the philosophical musings on the meaning of life – and whether you can be arsed with any of it – are best done in retirement. Not when you have hordes of passionate fans, paying good money, wanting you to lead the most talented roster they’ve had in a generation to a franchise-first Lombardi.

CLEVELAND BROWNS

It’s grim, but it’s no surprise to me that Todd Monken has backed the sex pest in the Browns quarterback battle. After all, this is a man who came out in support of Donald Trump in 2017. Call me Wokey McWokeFace, but in a sport that is always mindful of the financial rewards of expanding supporter demographic, surely the angry incel-adjacent male well is dry? Take morality out of it for a minute, speaking the NFL’s language of cold, hard cash, the fact we’re heading into the 2026 season with DeShaun Watson back on the main stage alienates a potential new audience. Only 19% of women in America say the NFL is their number one watched sport. But don’t worry, perceived wisdom says they’re only starting Watson so they can bench him two games in. So that’s all good then. Oh, and I’m not that woke, I once had a vegan sausage roll and didn’t care for it.

PITTSBURGH STEELERS

Hang on? I thought Rodgers and McCarthy detested each other? The worst double act breakup since the Gallagher brothers, Waters and Gilmour and Bros. It got so bad, according to folklore, that it cost McCarthy his job in Green Bay following the 2018 season. But hey, with age comes wisdom – the psychedelic “I’m telling you man I spoke to God” kind in Aaron’s case – and the two men are back together for Rodgers’s final foray. The franchise that refuses to rebuild is at it again. Write this season off until they get serious about where they are, let the circus leave town and let’s see what McCarthy, if he’s still there, brings to the table in 2027.

AFC East

BUFFALO BILLS

Didn’t these poor bastards suffer enough in the early 90s when they lost four straight Super Bowls? Apparently not. Over the last six years we’ve had to endure the spectacle of increasingly devastating January losses, culminating in what looked like an Italian funeral in the locker room after last season’s Divisional Round defeat in Denver. I for one can’t take it anymore. If the Bills couldn’t get it done last year in an AFC playoff picture stripped of Mahomes, Burrow and Lamar, then they never will. Joe Brady brings the black armband from the coordinator booth to the big chair. I fear this thing needed a breath of fresh air, not the deathly dirge of continuity.

MIAMI DOLPHINS

In the race for the number one overall pick, the Dolphins got a jump on the competition. Star names like Bradley Chubb, Minkah Fitzpatrick and Jaylen Waddle are out the door. Mike McDaniel is gone. Tua is no more. The last one may be no bad thing, given the former Dolphins QB is about to lose the starting job in Atlanta to Michael Penix. For this season anyway, the offense rests on Malik Willis, who may give fantasy managers stiffies when they draft him in the 12th round, but who has only ever had one decent game in Green Bay. As for his weapons, Malik Washington and Jalen Tolbert anyone? No, me neither. Poor De’Von Achane. I’d expect him to be traded away to a contender at the deadline.

NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

We all know the narrative by now. The New England Patriots had a schedule in 2025 made up teams from the CFL, XFL and USFL and made it all the way to the Super Bowl. All while head coach Mike Vrabel was doing his bit to improve relations with the media. What a trooper! Now that the bums are off the schedule (well, outside of the two in their own division) this season will be a fascinating test for a thin defense that lacks a pass rush. Just make sure you get that ball to A.J. Brown, else he may open a library on Gillette Stadium’s 50-yard line.

NEW YORK JETS

Geno is a Jet once again. Whilst this should be a perverse redemption story, I’m not ruling out the possibility of it ending even worse for him this time around. That would be saying something considering his last spell in the Meadowlands ended with a teammate’s punch breaking his jaw. I would offer the platitude of that Gang Green have some good offensive weapons in Garrett Wilson and Breece Hall, but that has been the case for the last four years and the Jets have been beyond crap. Aaron Glen has a lot of work on his hands to avoid becoming an ‘oh, remember him’ head coach.

AFC South

HOUSTON TEXANS

What a fascinating year ahead for one of the NFL’s least fascinating franchises. They have the best defense in the league but a bottom five O Line according to PFF. Then there is the conundrum that is CJ Stroud. I’ve seen very few rookie QB campaigns as impressive as Stroud’s 2023 season, but since then it’s been going downhill fast, to the point whereby a contract extension is no guarantee. It’s hard to see the ingredients for an offensive turnaround. I guess David Montgomery is an improvement at running back, but I’d be surprised if he gives much more then three yards and a cloud of dust, with kicker Ka’imi Fairbarin hitting 50+ yarders consistently. Exciting stuff.

INDIANAPOLIS COLTS

The Colts seem to excel when doubted, so I’m bullish on them having an above-expectation year. I like their receiving options. Jonathan Taylor behind that offensive line is money. The defense welcomes back Sauce Gardner who, with two first round picks, is the most expensive sauce since white truffle marinara. The big question, of course, is if Daniel Jones post Achilles tear is the Daniel Jones of pre-Achilles tear or the Daniel Jones of pre-pre-Achilles tear. He does have the perfect head coach in Shane Steichen who is sneaky one of the best coaches in the league. Although maybe it’s not so sneaky.

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS

18 months on from a definitive statement by General Manager James Gladstone, I’m still waiting for Travis Hunter to challenge “the boundaries of the game” or, for that matter, the boundaries of the gridiron. That said, it would be fair to surmise that between Trevor Lawrence, Parker Washington, Bhayshul Tuten and Brian Thomas Jr, I haven’t got a clue if it’s an embarrassment of riches or a mild blush. Evidence would suggest Liam Coen knows what he’s doing. And with an excellent defensive line, maybe Hunter doesn’t need to reinvent the sport, he just needs to be a very good corner to turn around one of the Jags weak spots and, in a stacked AFC, return them to the playoffs.

TENNESSEE TITANS

Big Sexy Bob Salah is a head coach once again, forming an all-bald playcalling partnership with OC Brian Dabol. Earlier this year, I thought this was really smart from Tennessee. Not something you say lightly or, indeed, ever. I’m never sure how much you’re meant to read into pre-season friendlies, but if the answer is ‘anything’ then I’m rethinking my assessment fast based on the Titans’ August. I want the best for Cam Ward – us Wards stick together – but he might just be really bad. But hey, they’ve got their new look Oilers inspired logo and uniforms, meaning they get to piss off the people of Houston permanently rather than one game per year. That’s shithousery I can get behind.

AFC West

DENVER BRONCOS

Speaking of shithousery, Sean Payton had the best team in the AFC last year and, despite the return of Mahomes and Burrow, I’d wager they’ll be top dogs in 2026. The Broncos re-signed most of their key free agents heading into the offseason, with the notable exception of John Franklin-Myers, whose move to the Titans was the classic ‘I’ll vanish into NFL obscurity with a handsome paycheck’. Denver added explosive talent to the receiving corps, with former first round pick Jaylen Waddle, and the running game, in the form of third rounder Jonah Coleman, who has received glowing reports. Over/under on Payton needlessly kicking off on journalists in a press conference? I’ll set it at 15.5 and I might be low.

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS

I like to think of this season as an interesting crossroads when, many years from now, we consider the legacy of the Kansas City Chiefs. We’ve had the dynasty, we’ve had the domination and we’ve had the inevitable resentment. What next? Are they the Belichick/Brady Patriots, having to wait another decade to lift a Lombardi again?  Are they the Walsh/Seifert 9ers, transitioning into the next version of their title winning selves? Or are they the 60s Packers, the 70s Steelers and the 90s Cowboys, and that might be it for a generation? Outside of Nick Wright, does anyone really think they’re winning it this year? I’ll leave it there; that paragraph has too many questions.

LAS VEGAS RAIDERS

The main story I’m monitoring around the Black and Silver has nothing to do with number one overall pick Fernando Mendoza. Sure, the star of the most unlikely story in college football history (so Simon Carroll tells me) has the potential to be box office, but I want to know what manoeuvres Tom Brady makes to finally get his hands on the General Manager job. Slip another spiced rum into Mark Davis’ drink, send a couple more dancing girls his way and then make your move. If you thought him sitting in the coaching booth with a headset was shocking, you ain’t seen nothing yet!

LOS ANGELES CHARGERS

You know the story by now. The Chargers are good; they’re the hipster’s choice. Justin Herbert is one of the best natural throwers of a football in the league. Elsewhere, the roster is loaded. The offensive line might be one of the best in the… oh wait, it just suffered a season ending injury. As Yogi Berra once said, it’s déjà vu all over again. The 2026 season of ‘This Is Their Year’ features a wonderful Odd Couple in Jim Harbaugh and Mike McDaniel, who will entertain us all the way to the Wildcard Round when the Chargers inevitably lose. Rinse and repeat for 2027.

ROB WARD

NFL/Fantasy Football Enthusiast

ROB IS A LOVER OF ALL THINGS 49ERS AND HOST OF THE COLLAPSING POCKET PODCAST IN WHICH HE, SIMON CARROLL AND SAM AKROYD BUTT-FUMBLE THEIR WAY THROUGH THE WORLD OF THE NFL. AWAY FROM SPORT, ROB IS A PROFESSIONAL WRITER AND PERFORMER. HIT HIM UP ON TWITTER @TDWARDY!

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