Wardy's NFL Wordy, Week 3: Clash of the Kits

By Rob Ward

It took me a moment or two, watching back the Rams and Giants MNF highlights, to clock it. These things sometimes take time. But once you see it you can’t unsee it and you’ll complain about it, out loud sometimes, for every snap for the remainder of the game.

Why are the Rams wearing white pants?

The Giants were wearing white pants. This gave the Rams free rein to wear whatever they liked.

Obviously, a team playing in royal blue is always going to get the approval from this Everton fan, but I liked the swapsy jersey leading with a shade of yellow the team refer to as Sol. Something very LA about that.  

All you had to do was finish it off with blue pants. That would have been an ophthalmological treat. Instead, you opt for that wet fart? And so an ugly white-on-white clash in the nether regions played out all evening. It didn’t have to be like this.

This got me thinking – nihilist that I am – about the Week 3 slate and what the worst kit combinations would be. Edvard Munch painted ‘The Scream’; I fear I’m about to come up with something even more visually horrifying.

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS @ NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

I’m a big one for tradition, but the Patriots throwing back to a time when they played in an inferior different colour, a sickly red, has never worked for me. I’m going for a very specific moment in time for the Jags. Thursday Night Football, 27th October 2016, colour rush vs the Titans. Black Bortles in the ‘Bold Gold’ looking like a jar of mustard. Those who know, know.

PITTSBURGH STEELERS @ CINCINNATI BENGALS

The bumblebees, the bumblebees, the bumblebees. And for anyone hard of hearing at the back, the bumblebees. We forget that Ben Roethlisberger once threw for 500 yards and 6 touchdowns against the Colts (2014) because we were so distracted by what the hell he was wearing. The Bengals can play in their usual home strip. Black is the dull choice. When you think of a tiger, you think orange. The black is the secondary stripe.

NEW YORK GIANTS @ TENNESSEE TITANS

The Titans have made the greatest kit switch in the history of the NFL and, though it may put Houston noses out, those baby blues really pop in the Southern sun. But it’s the white pants that work so well in tandem. A far cry from the late 2010s and the all-blue strips that looked like pyjamas. The Giants fell into the same throwback trap as the Patriots in 2024, thinking garish – or ‘Ceremonial’ as they branded it – red was the way to commemorate history. Add to that gold pants, a look associated only with the 49ers, and a retro block of navy blue. Those uniforms should be assigned to history.

WASHINGTON COMMANDERS @ SEATTLE SEAHAWKS

Honestly, Washington can wear any kit. The burgundy has never done it for me. But it works for a team that haven’t done anything for me, outside of the Kirk Cousins “you like that!?” moment, since I started watching the NFL. Those who remember the ‘Action Green’ Seahawks offerings, not once but twice in the 2016 season, won’t forget them in a hurry. The equivalent of watching 11 cyclists in neon lime fly past, ringing their bells, and claiming the canal tow path as their own.

NEW YORK JETS @ DETROIT LIONS

Listen, I know what you’re all thinking. But it ain’t happening. I liked the Jets colour rush from that infamous “Christmas Tree” game against the Bills on TNF in November 2017. That’s a lovely shade of green. The black uniforms, however, I just can’t get behind. Too much black. And where does black even feature in the Jets colour scheme? Similarly with the Lions, take any of those grey uniforms. Grey is never a good look. Even if, as the Lions have, you try and dress it up under the guise of “anthracrite”.

CAROLINA PANTHERS @ CLEVELAND BROWNS

The Browns play in brown. Do I have to go any further than that? One of few teams in the league who would be better off just playing in their white strips the whole season. The Panthers have one of my favourite combinations in the league, the black, silver and process blue. But pairing the white top with the silver pants is no good. It’s like when British football teams in the 90s would change only the shorts in away matches, to avoid a clash with the home team. It’s one or the other lads.

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS @ MIAMI DOLPHINS

Not a fan of the Chiefs white and red trim. Don’t ask me why. Actually, you’re perfectly entitled to ask me why as I’m mouthing off about it in an article. Bland. Boring. Reminds me of LFC away kits. Come to think of it, not really a fan of any Chiefs uniforms. Maybe it’s PTSD from watching two heartbreaking 9ers Super Bowl losses. The Dolphins choice is easy. Back to the Colour Rush well for the 2016 Sunny-D offering. Orange is a tricky colour. Feels like you need to be unapologetic and bold, which a pastel tone can never pull off.

LOS ANGELES CHARGERS @ BUFFALO BILLS

Having shocked the world with my prior declaration of support for the Jets Bills 2017 Colour Rush game, don’t expect me to waver here. I liked that Bills red. No, for the Bills I am looking to the future. A few hours from now in fact. For those who haven’t seen the sickening grey monstrosity that is the ‘Nickel City’ strip, brace yourselves. The Chargers electric blue is perhaps my favourite shade of any colour seen in the league. Again, that California sun! But with such striking colours, you must be careful not to let the yellow takeover. Unfortunately, that’s what happened with the ‘Charger Power’ offering in October of last year. White helmet, yellow top and pants, finished off with blue socks. Not for me, Clive.

HOUSTON TEXANS @ INDIANAPOLIS COLTS

A division rivalry pitting two teams with bland uniforms. The Colts colour scheme has been basic throughout their history. Blue and white, white and blue. You know where you stand. Unless the year is 2023 and the ‘Indiana Nights’ is randomly adding black and removing the Colts sort-of-iconic vertical double shoulder stripes. I’ve never liked the Texans deeps steel blue. Too flat, too dark. Maybe it’s an issue for new franchises. All the good colour combos have been taken.

SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS @ ARIZONA CARDINALS

Don’t like my 9ers in black with the red trim and numbers. We’re a red, gold and white franchise. There’s an argument to be had that the white pants look better than the gold with the red jerseys, but if you take the gold away from San Francisco you remove the whole point of the team. The Cardinal red, like the Texans blue and (spoiler alert) Eagles green has never worked for me. Uninspiring. Not even Larry Fitzgerald in his pomp could save it.

MINNESOTA VIKINGS @ TAMPA BAY BUCCANNEERS

When the Bucs roll out the throwback creamsicle orange uniforms, complete with Bucco Bruce logo, they remind us of how good they used to look. Though they’ve improved in the 2020s, most of us still have those ghastly red with pewter shoulders and alarm clock numbers burnt into our retinas. The Vikings are strong top to bottom in this category. Perfect shade of purple with the white pants, finished off by the impeccable white horn on the helmet. But when you mess with that horn, you’re in trouble, as they found with the 2024 ‘Winter Warrior’ getup. A white helmet with a white horn. Really?

LAS VEGAS RAIDERS @ NEW ORLEANS SAINTS

They say the difference between gold and silver is enormous. Very few remember who stands on the second highest step of the podium. True, also, in the NFL. The Saints black and gold is a delight. When they flip it, as per the ‘Gameday Gold’ in their 2025 season opener, less so. It’s a delicate balance. Now I know there is history, I know there is John Madden (Nicholas Cage btw? WTF?) and Al Davis, I know there is the Autumn Wind. But let’s get real. Black does not work with silver. The Raiders’ uniforms are, like the team itself, stuck in the 70s.

BALTIMORE RAVENS @ DALLAS COWBOYS

Have we just gotten so used to the Cowboys rolling out the same kit every year that we overlook the inherent flaws in its design? White, silver, royal blue and a silver-blue that is sometimes referred to as seafoam green. Just too much going on there.  Baltimore plays it safe most of the time, with the rare exception of the mustard pants randomly matched with the purple jerseys for a one-off game in December 2015. Perhaps they were trying to steal from the Browns again but got the wrong shade.

LA RAMS @ DENVER BRONCOS

I’m sticking with the leader of this article and going with whatever the hell the Rams were playing at on monday night. An honourable mention must go to the “Greatest Game Ever Played” (or whatever moniker the NFL insist we use) against the Chiefs on MNF in 2018. The all-yellow Rams strip that night will forever stain the memory of that classic. Maybe the Rams shouldn’t play on Monday nights. The Broncos burnt orange is iconic, I can’t say I’m much fussed on it, and when they go all-orange it’s like being in a juice bar. Just too much orange.

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES @ CHICAGO BEARS

The Eagles’ green is dull. Their throwback green is so much better. Surely Howie Roseman – who common consensus tells us has never made a mistake in his life – can march into Jeffrey Lurie’s office and demand change? The Bears may have messed up a lot on the field in the last 40 years, but they rarely get the uniforms wrong. That may change this year, with the ‘Rivalries’ edition for a home match with the Packers. Let me know your thoughts on the navy top, orange pants, orange helmet combo. Insert wide eyes staring in concern emoji.

ROB WARD

NFL/Fantasy Football Enthusiast

ROB IS A LOVER OF ALL THINGS 49ERS AND HOST OF THE COLLAPSING POCKET PODCAST IN WHICH HE, SIMON CARROLL AND SAM AKROYD BUTT-FUMBLE THEIR WAY THROUGH THE WORLD OF THE NFL. AWAY FROM SPORT, ROB IS A PROFESSIONAL WRITER AND PERFORMER. HIT HIM UP ON TWITTER @TDWARDY!

Rated 5 out of 5
BoyleSports NFL