SuperBowl LV Recap - Pain.

God. Can we just pretend that didn’t happen? That WAS all a bad dream… right!? It cannot be possible that on the Monday after the Super Bowl in the year 2021 I have to wake up and live in a world where that man just won ANOTHER title. This is absolutely miserable. And sure – I know there are people out there who will read this and declare me “a hater” and “stupid” and maybe I am, but I’ll explain exactly why I feel this way in length below.

Defense Winning Championships Is The Worst

Super Bowl LV Recap
Credit: Twitter (@MySportsUpdate)

I am sad for many reasons. I am someone who likes enjoyment and excitement in life. I want happiness. I want fun. I want MORE THAN FORTY DAMN POINTS IN A SUPER BOWL. Last night was so eerily reminiscent of Rams vs Patriots two years ago to me. I waited all week, I got so excited, and then the game was a dud and that quarterback smugly smiles at me as I’m going to bed depressed at 4am. It’s the worst. The absolute worst.

I would like to take some of the blame. I believe I jinxed the night from the moment my bet on “Coin Toss – Tails” was unsuccessful… But still… this was THE KANSAS CITY CHIEFS. There was absolutely no way in hell that the Chiefs would possibly fail to score a single Touchdown, right? Ugh. Wrong. And this is a huge reason why I’m sad…

The worst group of people in the NFL fan circles are the “defense wins championships people.” They’re miserable. They want every game to be nothing more than 1st and 10 runs up the middle for 2 yards and a final score of 13-9 with a million field goals and one, MAYBE two touchdowns. And I cannot think of anything worse.

I was raised a “soccer” fan. I’m a former NCAA “soccer” player. I have a sport I love which is USUALLY low scoring. I’m here, watching “football” for some POINTS. I want drama, I want touchdowns, I want 75 yard completions every four minutes. And this is why I have absolutely LOVED the Kansas City Chiefs for the past three seasons. I need excitement!

Andy Reid, Patrick Mahomes, Eric Bienemy, and their boys are usually so fantastic to watch. Last year, they took apart the fraudulent 49ers team that dared to try and win with “defense and running the ball.” It was PERFECT. I was elated. I was expecting Part 2 last night… And yet… My dreams of the Chiefs offensive machine dominating and winning back to back seasons died a sad death.

Fine – i’ll give the Bucs some credit. Devin White, you’re unbelievable and insane. Gronk, you’re a true superstar. The first man to win a title in WWE and in the NFL in a 12 month period. Legend. Leonard Fournette – who I adored at LSU – looks to have re-found himself and his burst which is nice to see. Playoff Lenny was rolling. And the defense on the whole – beyond Devin White – really should have been named the MVP. That guy being MVP is the most blatant example of quarterback bias I’ve ever seen. Even Gronk had a case for being MVP ahead of him… Ugh. Okay, FINE, I’m happy for Bruce Arians. He deserves a championship and I’m glad he got one. But that is ALL you’re getting from me praising the Bucs. It’s too painful. This SHOULD have been Aaron Rodgers and the Green Bay Packers against Mahomes and the Chiefs. It really should have.

The Chiefs Moving Forward...

Super Bowl LV Recap
Credit: Kansas City Star

So I’m sitting here collecting my thoughts about why the Chiefs failed so spectacularly last night. Todd Bowles deserves a hell of a lot of credit; the defensive game plan was incredible, to shut down Tyreek Hill, limit Travis Kelce, and make Patrick Mahomes run for his life. They had 29 pressures. TWENTY NINE. That’s unbelievable. Sadly, the loss of Eric Fisher last weekend was a huge blow. The Chiefs O-Line just didn’t hold up.

That said, Patrick Mahomes still gave his everything. The play last night that made my jaw drop? Of course, it was Mahomes, as it is in every single game he plays. The shot of him basically horizontal to the ground, flinging the pass into the endzone that Darrel Williams would somehow have the audacity to DROP was legitimately incredible. It was outrageous.

He was constantly a play away from bringing his team back into the game. The Tyreek Hill drop in the 1st quarter, should have been a touchdown. Travis Kelce’s 3rd down drop after the goal line stand, could have turned the momentum. The freak deflected interception that gave Fournette a short field to run through… The Chiefs just didn’t have anything go their way last night.

I don’t wanna go full “conspiracy theory,” but there were some abject officiating calls in the first half, especially the egregious pass interference call against Mathieu in the end zone. Apparently “uncatchable” is no longer relevant… Just horrible. The Chiefs are going to have to make some moves to keep their pieces together amongst an uncomfortable salary cap situation, and you do wonder which pieces might have to restructure contracts or move on. Undoubtedly, they need a bit more oomph defensively, but I really hope the offensive weapons around Mahomes stay put. Who am I kidding? Mahomes could make me and my 8.21 40 yard dash time look competent. The Chiefs will be back.


Super Bowl LV Recap
Credit: Mark J. Rebilas (USA Today Sports)

And so we come to the man who so far in this piece has remained deliberately nameless… The architect of all my saddest days as an NFL fan. The man who has shredded my Dolphins (and every other team) for two decades. The man who built the DeathStar in New England and then moved and has built a new Empire of Despair for me in Tampa Bay. Thomas Edward Patrick Brady Jr. The GOAT.

There, I said it. 7 rings? I prefer the Ariana Grande song to be honest… This is a nightmare. It’s incredible, outrageous, unbelievable, and never to be repeated, but I refuse to like it. I don’t have to and I won’t. Brady is clearly the best “winner” this sport has even seen, but he has been fortunate with the coaches, surroundings, and defenses he has played with. Sue me. I will go to my grave saying that he’s had perfect situations to be successful in. Most players aren’t so fortunate.

Anyway, I’m a glutton for punishment, so I watch him accept the (questionably awarded) MVP award, and what do I hear? “Oh, we coming back.” Great. Another year. Now I have to spend 12 months plotting all possible outcomes to avoid Brady lifting another trophy next year in Los Angeles. Super Bowl LVI can’t get here quickly enough, and I cannot wait for the Browns vs the Packers next year. I can dream, right?

Season Recap... Sad face.

Super Bowl LV Recap
Credit: Kirby Lee (USA Today Sports)

Well, in conclusion, that was a wild season. I’m not gonna jump on the “congratulate the NFL profusely for doing what they were supposed to” train, but there is for sure reason to thank the healthcare workers, team officials and players who made this COVID hit season possible. I can’t imagine how empty the last four months would have been without me recklessly ignoring my need to sleep to sweat over the fact that I need 34 yards from Rashard Higgins in Sunday Night Football to win my fantasy matchup and a bet.

I love the NFL. A great year: Russell Wilson winning MVP in mid-September (yikes), the Bills magical playoff run led by Josh Allen and Stefon Diggs’ bromance, FitzMagic winning THAT game in Las Vegas, DK Metcalf chasing down Budda Baker, the Eagles disgusting display of refusing to win, the Hail Murray to DeAndre Hopkins, Baker and Lamar going back and forth on Monday Night Football (the best game of the season by a MILE), the Cam Newton experiment definitely not working in New England, Justin Jefferson setting the league alight, the Broncos starting a practice squad WR at QB, that opening quarter BLITZ of the Steelers by the plucky Cleveland Browns (my personal favourite memory), and Aaron Rodgers dominating everybody and ACTUALLY winning MVP for the 3rd time…

Ahhh memories. It’s been wonderful. That said, the next 6 months are going to feel really empty in my heart knowing that the Super Bowl went down that way. I’m sorry, it’s just the way I feel. That said, this off-season has so many unknowns that it’s going to be must-watch from start to finish. Will Deshaun Watson end up in the right place? (It’s Miami, by the way…) Fins up baby. Will Carson Wentz find a home and why is it so funny that it’s probably going to be Chicago? Will there be redemption opportunities for Mitch Trubisky and Jameis Winston?! Will Drew Brees actually retire? Will Big Ben?! Will people finally respect Baker Mayfield and the Browns as the fantastic team they are? And of course… how will the New York Jets manage to mess up having the number 2 overall pick in this year’s draft?! It’s got to be Trevor Lawrence at 1, right? I hope so for the suffering Jaguars fans… 

Anyway, the storyline’s are set to be electric. Plenty to look forward to as we seek to erase the memory of last night from our collective consciousness. And that’s it. The 2020 season is in the history books. I’d be a bad writer if I didn’t take the time to thank a few people – The editors and staff at The Touchdown, especially Ben and Si, thanks for giving me a platform and opportunity to write for you guys this year. Hopefully it’s not a one and done! Any of you who’s taken the time to read my words this season, whether it was one sentence or every column, whether you loved it or hated it, I appreciate you.

There’s A LOT of people out there who are far better writers, far more intelligent and far more entertaining than me, so you choosing to read my thoughts is humbling and I’m very grateful. I hope everybody is staying safe and sane in amongst this insanity of a year, but let’s cross our fingers we meet right back here in about 6 months and are looking forward to full stadiums and healthy fans in 2021. As always, I’m @CallumJDSquires on Twitter and Instagram if you wanna chat further. Have a good one y’all. Peace.

Callum Squires